When I talk about the perfect goodness of every situation given the fact that everything is from Hashem who is Perfect, the response I sometimes get from people is, “I know everything Hashem does is perfect but I’m the one that messed up here, I caused myself to be in this situation”.
And they have a hard time accepting a situation that they feel they brought upon themselves.
I will quote what Rav Nachman says about this. He says that before an action, free choice is totally in our hands, but after the event, we have to believe, that’s the way it was meant to happen. We have the power to choose good and we have to always try to make the healthiest and holiest choices but sometimes we mess up. And we need to allow ourselves to move on.
Secondly, we have to keep in mind that Hashem is constantly doing kindness to us, above and beyond what we deserve. If I failed somewhere along the way, Hashem waits for me to return. It’s we who pull away, His presence is constant and faithful.
When we hold onto guilt, we have to simply ask ourselves, “What is this emotion helping me to achieve?” If it stirs me to repent, great! 3 easy steps:
1. Regretting the action (which we usually have in great measure!)
2. Telling Hashem about it.
3. Resolving to act differently in the future.
That’s it! For some reason we feel that we have to hang on to the guilt endlessly… If Hashem can forgive, we need to learn to forgive ourselves too.
The Tanya speaks about having specific times to sit and contemplate our behaviour in order to serve Hashem better. This frees us up so that the rest of the time we can focus on being joyful and present. Serve Hashem with joy! If guilt is getting in the way, it’s simply a trick of the evil inclination to pull us down.
Lastly, keep in mind that teshuva, repentance, returning to Hashem is a great mitsva (good deed) and if it comes from a place of love, from a place of “I just want to feel close to you, Hashem, because I love you”, then the sin itself turns into a mitsva.
Your ‘mess-up’ is now considered holy in Hashem’s eyes because it brought you closer to Him.
Hashem allows us to be human, do we?
Stay close to Him and everything will be okay.
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